Btw

I've moved this blog to a mailing list about my Travels/Life in HK... if you want in, drop me a mail/comment!

"Over time, things change"

When I was younger, maybe 12 years old, I used to believe in that absolutivity of that statement, because to me, every day meant new challenges, new things to learn… a constant shaping process of my life.

However now that I’m older, I realize that such is not always the case. Time itself may cause many things to be different than they were before, but change, or transformation as the Bible talks about, is not something that naturally happens with merely the passing of time.

Over the last few years, the church has begun notice a definitive need for re-alignment within its core structures and goals. Perhaps, in the last few decades we have focused extensively on being good Christians, on making ourselves perfect, on “allowing” God to bless us and make us prosperous people, all so we can support the work of the Kingdom of course! Now, I begin to see more and more teaching about the heart of God, about his transforming power, about letting his love completely change us, and through that power reaching the world. I read about admitting to our brokenness, of confessing our sins to one another, of being a body of Christ, of mercy, justice, the breaking down of socio-economic barriers, about being a family... Perhaps it depends on which churches you listen to, or the denomination you’re in… but slowly we’re waking up to the fact that alone, we can’t do what God has called us to do… but only through abiding in him can we change.

Over time, through God, we change… and that’s the truth.

Hanging Rock

Well it's been over a month since I last posted anything up here... and that's not for a lack of activity, but rather a lack of anything substantial to report. However new developments have arisen, and will be shared... perhaps in a couple months when they come to fruition... or if... lol.

However in the mean time, thought I'd blog a bit about my trip to Hanging Rock. It was good... lots of climbing... rocks, Sarah, Shawn and I even hiked down a cliff face via an old stream bed. The views were spectacular!

Living and active...

And I looked up and behold there was a young man kneeling on a floor, surrounded by dozens of figures spawned from the deepest darkness. In their hands many held red-tipped weapons, covered with lies, temptations and discouragements, each eagerly striking at the kneeling man’s heart and soul, filling him with self-doubt and guilt. They screamed insults and mocked his weakness, taunting him with recriminations of past sins and recent mistakes.

Lying there, almost cut to his death, the youth sought to rise, pleading for strength, crying out in pain, and in deep shame. His eyes did not see what was around him, yet with every strike a fresh red mark would lash across his soul, searing to his very heart.

I desired greatly to help this poor young man, beleaguered as he was and all alone, so I reached forth with my hand, and made to cry out. Yet even as he looked up, then did I see that his face was as my own, his soul merely my reflection.

A wave of sorrow and despair rose up from my throat, a wail of pain understood.

Light flashed through the darkness, dazzling white, so strong that the very air seemed to cackle with intensity, a single column of brilliance descending from the very heavens to the sound of an immense thunder clap.

Within that light stood a man, eyes hard as agates, mouth set with such grim determination, the darkness itself seemed to recoil from his gaze. Stepping forward, he opened his mouth, and out came a sword, doubled edged, star bright silver steel, edge sharp enough to divide soul and spirit.

Uttering a loud cry he lay hold of his weapon, and without pause leapt forward sword upraised. With extreme prejudice he lay into the creatures of darkness standing over the young man, blade shearing through hideously formed bodies without apparent effort. Whirling around the prostrate youth, this avenger of light met all on their own ground, shattering their weapons and dispatching them where they stood.

The demons started to back away, forming a thick circle around the being of light who stood protectively over his charge. He dropped to the fallen man’s side, and suddenly I was there, the young man on the ground, and he was speaking directly to me.

“Thought you could use some help,” he said, stretching forth a scarred hand. From my position on the ground, I did not know what to think, yet with hesitation and not a small amount of fear, I slowly reached out. He smiled, deeply, a complete counterpoint to his countenance before. Without another word, he clasped my shaking arm with a firm grip, and pulled me to my feet.

Warmth began to infuse my body, radiating from the point where his grasped my wrist. Outward it spread, slowly covering over those red welts, leaving nothing more than faint scars where there had hideous wounds and lies. The intense pain vanished at his touch, and where before my clothes had been black, they now began to turn white, a dazzling shade of complete purity.

“Here,” he said, casting me a quick wink, “you might want this.” With that he handed me his sword, hilt first.

“But…” I began to object, stopping as he pulled yet another from his mouth. “That’s a neat trick,” I finished sheepishly, turning to look for once at the growing horde of monsters that continued to encircle us. “Will it be enough though, there are so many… and there are more all the time!”

The man merely smiled, and patted my shoulder with supreme confidence. “You’ll be fine, I’m right here with you.”

I couldn’t say why, yet his words filled me with hope. Nodding once, I charged forth, brandishing that glowing sword in my hands.

Updates updates

One feels that the invention of Twitter has put our lives, every insignificant and pointless moment of it, on display... or perhaps no part of life is truly undeserving of attention...

***

So some small updates about what's going down in my life over here in Melbourne. Currently I'm still jobless (although not for lack of trying). In fact I didn't get any return phone calls or invitations for interviews... yet I'm more than reasonably certain (and it's be confirmed by other people) that I've got some decent exp for someone who's mostly a fresh grad... so I decided to re-tune my resume (thanks to Ce, Mel and Kfu for their assistance) and now have a short, well formatted, yet thorough, 2 page paper that details my life since leaving High School.

Of course I'm rather bad at writing cover letters... what does one even say?? I mean shouldn't they just look at your resume to see if you've got the right qualifications/Exp, then call you up to see if you've got the desired communication skills??? I mean seriously...

Anyway, for the time being I'm looking at IT Service Desk positions, there's one particular one that I've got my eye on that I applied for today... prayers would be appreciated.

But enough about that.

In regards to ministry currently I've been visiting/attending/sorta leading a small group with a lovely girl named Rachel, which is ironic for reasons I can't really disclose, but the group is awesome! However in talking with my young adults pastor, he's suggested that my experience could be better put in starting a new group. So that will probably be the direction I will go. I will start a HK plus group right here in Melbourne. Maybe DP and I can get a denomination going! Woot! A body of believers who focus on loving God, knowing Him and spending time with Him in order to see fruit in our lives. (John 15) He is the vine, and we are the branches. Perhaps the Vine IS aptly named.

Socially... well, I've mentioned it to many people, but I feel quite... lonely here. I think I've written about it previously, and not much has changed. This was most recently highlighted when I went for lunch with 4 of my friends, two couples. All the seats at the tables were for even numbers... the seat next to me was noticeably absent. It's sorta funny when you think about it, and I don't mind... but increasingly there is a divide within my friends here, not just with me, but between the people at various stages of their life in our church. That and I miss my brothers in HK... very guys here take the Bible as seriously as DP and Alex... or are as cool as Paul and Will (who also both take the Bible seriously =). True men of God are hard to find... although I already knew that, cause all my single sisters bemoan that fact constantly :P.

Lastly, God has been really speaking to me, and last night gave me the last verse in the Old Testament as His personal revelation to me. I suppose there are very few reasons that God would keep me here, and that would be one of them... and so I will obey in the little (or not so little) things, to show myself faithful for the bigger things.

Unfortunately...

Due to a recent spat of inappropriate posts, (neither of which I disagreed with 100% surprisingly) that's I've had to delete, I've had to turn off anonymous commenting. Hopefully this doesn't discourage anyone from leaving their thoughts though, even the harsh ones, it's good to have all views represented.

-[Stasis]-

I wonder if it's spelt with a T in there somewhere... no, according to the ever wise internet, it's only got one t.

I was chatting with quite a few friends this afternoon, a good way as any to make my day. One of them asked me how I was feeling... then went on to say how SHE was feeling in a similar situation and asked if I felt like that. LoL. So this isn't really my idea, it's more her's, but definitely my feelings as well.

See right now, I'm locked, stuck here with no place to go, no battles to fight, no direction. I can't move back, stay in HK, yet I don't know if I can stay here (in Aus)either, merrily go about putting down roots and making friends only to have my prayers answered (how much that sounds like "dreams come true") and me off to HK (Or yet some other place O_o). The people who know me well seem to feel it, my heart is most certainly there... yet it can't stay, or eventually I'll die... I've got to start putting roots down SOMEWHERE. It's more than just friendship too. I can't commit to a church until I'm sure that I can commit for more than just a few months, that wouldn't be very honorable otherwise. Furthermore things like dancing and TESOL classes require commitment too (plus money which I no longer have much of). Even missions trips and weddings need to be taken into account!

I suppose (physically anyway) it all comes down a good stable and viable job. Which is possibly the most depressing thing of all. In reality I have all the commercial IT experience of a well studied graduate... yet all the graduate positions start NEXT year... sometime in Feb. I was definitely hoping to be out of the country by then, but maybe that's not God's plan for my life... maybe I have been called back to Australia... though I don't see why just yet. All the professional jobs seem to want 3 years of experience, which I have, just not in any of their specified skillsets (you don't really learn SAP on IBL... do you?)

It all comes down to knowing, and why do I want to know so much? I was talking with another awesome friend about the calling of God, I never got around to telling her, but the real reason I care so much is proably because I don't wanna spend time fumbling around doing things I'm not meant to be doing. I hate wasting effort (read: Josh = lazy when unmotivated), I live to get my task finished... those tasks that God has prepared in advance for me to do. I wanna DO something worthwhile, you know? And the only way I'm gonna know that something is worthwhile is if God tells me to do it...

Which brings me back to knowing where to go. Bottom line is that at the moment, I don't. Don't know what to aim for, where to go... even for what to hope... and while I'm still staying sane by the tangible grace of God... everyday the spark of my joy gets that much dimmer, calling out for friends, service and direction. Soon I'll have to set my own course... without hearing from God... is that what he wants? Or is that just me wimping out...

Why is life as a Christian so hard?

ps. My Aussie friend's haven't deserted me, they're just really busy with all the things that I would be busy with too, if I was gonna stay here for a while.

Re-Entry

It's strange how subjective the desire to write can be, truly such an ethereal and whimsical impulse... it's no wonder that writer's block is both possible AND common... it's like the very stars must align before one can produce anything of substance or significance... and I can bear personal testimony to that.

... I wonder if I sound like that in real life...

Anyway, for those of you still following my journey, I'm back in Melbourne, undergoing the many thrills and joys of "re-entry" or "reverse culture shock", a thoroughly enjoyable and fun filled process (please read much sarcasm in that last statement). For the past 2 months now, I've been trekking blithely around Asia, living off the charity of others, and what small amounts of money I can scrape together (refer to previous post for further elaboration). However now the journey is at an end, and I am once again back to where I started. Melbourne, safe, quiet, sunny and ultimately boring (no offense intended).

So, now what?

That's a VERY good question, one for which I wish I had a God given answer (but unfortunately I don't). For the time being I'm applying for jobs, mostly IT related, in Melbourne, while trying to find some to apply for in HK and Malaysia. I'm also looking into getting a TESOL/TEFL certificate, so I could teach in HK if I find a position.

Meanwhile I'm trying to figure out, if I do indeed stay in Melbourne, which church to go to, and where I can serve... these are interesting times. At the same time, emotionally, it's not easy, as no matter where I move to, I'll be apart from close friends, and family... it sorta sucks being a "global gypsy" as my cousin likes to call it.

I will say honestly, that my friends in Hong Kong are generally more similar to me, especially in terms of stage in life (they're all around my age) and theology of God, in reality they are true spiritual siblings, my brothers and sisters, and I started to miss them even before getting on the plane.

My friends in Australia are way beyond cool, as are the many aunties and uncles who give me advice (and also read this blog) but most of them (my friends), the close ones at least, are A: older and B: moving to a different point in life (ie somewhere within the next 2 years, the marriage part). Which while cool, isn't quite where I'm at (despite several comical attempts on my part...). That, coupled with the fact that HK is way less boring and requires less capital investment to get going (I need to buy a car, or at least a bike if I stay in Melbourne) would see me leaning towards going back to HK.

However in all things, no matter what seems logical or what I want, God's will, His plan and path, His direction come first. While I'm not sitting on my hands doing nothing, I know that He will make my path straight, and be a lamp unto my path. Wherever He leads me, I will be grateful, and it will be for my good, according to his good, pleasing and perfect will.

So there you have it, where I'm at right this moment. Feel free to cast your votes, cause as you may know, I've easily swayed by public opinion!

Traveling...

So I've been in Malaysia since teh 7th of Jan... and for those few of you who still check this blog, or are interested in my life in general, it's been an amazing blast, having passed through Kuala Lumper to Penang, before a more extended stay in KL and 2 days in Cameron Highlands.

I'm now in Ipoh, at my grandma's house, awaiting the 5 minutes before Chinese New Year. Not that anything special will happen at the stroke of 12... lol, fireworks have been made even MORE illegal, if that were indeed possible. Along with not wearing your seatbelts too. Fine has gone up from 300 RM to 2000!

So my trip has been quite eventful so far. I've had my first full bottle of beer, peeled my first prawn, seen some of my cousins for the first time in almost 10 years, and ingested more grease in 2 weeks than in the last two years... even though I lived in HONG KONG....

Just so you know, I still hate beer and I'm still somewhat allergic to shellfish. However seeing my cousins, who are all 15 or over was and continues to be very awesome! Wish you could meet them all, I'm sure that eventually I'll get around to posting up pictures.

Oh and Malaysian food IS good, but you can literally feel the oil sliding down your throat... it's quite a balancing act.

Penang was good, met up with a couple of school friends, and subsequently met some cool people (hey that rhymes!) Sunset was nice too... oh and the Indian food! Mmmm.

KL the 2nd time around was pretty cool, especially around my birthday. Went out with a most awesome friend, who claims that I issue too many compliments. She took me to possibly the coolest bar that I've ever seen, with one of the most AMAZING views ever, the Skybar above Traders hotel. The view is truly spectacular.

Camerons was good, not much to do except hike, eat and gamble. The hiking proved to be.... hazardous to my continued existance... partly because I was helping my auntie get through the rather arduous trek, however despite my near brush with a falling palm tree, I had a blast! Of course the fact that I won almost 300 RM over the rest of the day might have had an impact on my mood over all.

Ipoh so far has been... well costly.... money wise, lost all of my profit from Camerons (but it's CNY tomorrow, so I get more RM, which I can't convert or use anywhere else ANYWAY...) but it's been good to hang out with my aunties, uncles and cousins, oh and cousin in-laws too! Though I must confess though that such constant proximity to my brother is ... humbling.

So, now, with my return to HK only a week away, visions of the future, specifically MY future, swim into focus and I begin to wonder anew what course my life will take. People are asking, and in all honesty, often I have no answer to give. Would appreciate your prayers, and your encouragements, or a hug would be sweet too! =D

Happy Chinese New Year!

A person's sphere

Sometimes when I'm chatting with friends (like right now) I wonder about the sphere of influence that I have. Not to say that I think I'm all amazing and stuff... but rather, the crazy places that God has taken me in life... the groups of friends, scattered across the world, whom I've had the privilege to meet.

At some level, a apart of me, the dreamer I suppose, feels that there is definitely a greater purpose to this... that perhaps God has chosen me for some part in the grand design, some key role that allows me to connect people from the corners of the earth... and not in a match making sense, although I hear there's a lot of money in Christian online dating.

I suppose at one level, I might seem like a really confident and forceful person, but anyone who really knows me, would know that I also battle with a LOT of inferiority complexes, possibly because, believe it or not, I have screwed up a lot in my life, especially in the last 5 years. Thus, I often don't realize the effect that I have on people, seriously, until they tell me, or it becomes really obvious. It often DOES surprise me when I hear stories of people who I've encouraged/helped, or groups of friends who were... almost bonded... by my presence... and it's a pattern that repeats in various places... I think that's what surprises me the most =D.

Obviously it feels good to hear those reports... but more than that... I wonder... well A: if I can build a business around it lol, but B: what it means for my destiny... perhaps I will have the opportunity to unite Christianity during the tribulation?? =D Or maybe build a network of churches that actually teach the hard to accept portions of scripture... or maybe even something as crazy as raising my own family in the ways of the Lord... heaven knows you need a lot of bonding there.

Who knows... perhaps God could very well send me to some other place in the world... I really have no idea... and perhaps I'll meet another group of super awesome Christians with whom I'll be able to journey for a short while.

One friend once told me that to him, I was an agent of change... an "impact" guy... I still have no idea what that means, or how it's going to give me a job... but I trust in God, and He's got my back, so what have I to fear?