Unfortunately...

Due to a recent spat of inappropriate posts, (neither of which I disagreed with 100% surprisingly) that's I've had to delete, I've had to turn off anonymous commenting. Hopefully this doesn't discourage anyone from leaving their thoughts though, even the harsh ones, it's good to have all views represented.

-[Stasis]-

I wonder if it's spelt with a T in there somewhere... no, according to the ever wise internet, it's only got one t.

I was chatting with quite a few friends this afternoon, a good way as any to make my day. One of them asked me how I was feeling... then went on to say how SHE was feeling in a similar situation and asked if I felt like that. LoL. So this isn't really my idea, it's more her's, but definitely my feelings as well.

See right now, I'm locked, stuck here with no place to go, no battles to fight, no direction. I can't move back, stay in HK, yet I don't know if I can stay here (in Aus)either, merrily go about putting down roots and making friends only to have my prayers answered (how much that sounds like "dreams come true") and me off to HK (Or yet some other place O_o). The people who know me well seem to feel it, my heart is most certainly there... yet it can't stay, or eventually I'll die... I've got to start putting roots down SOMEWHERE. It's more than just friendship too. I can't commit to a church until I'm sure that I can commit for more than just a few months, that wouldn't be very honorable otherwise. Furthermore things like dancing and TESOL classes require commitment too (plus money which I no longer have much of). Even missions trips and weddings need to be taken into account!

I suppose (physically anyway) it all comes down a good stable and viable job. Which is possibly the most depressing thing of all. In reality I have all the commercial IT experience of a well studied graduate... yet all the graduate positions start NEXT year... sometime in Feb. I was definitely hoping to be out of the country by then, but maybe that's not God's plan for my life... maybe I have been called back to Australia... though I don't see why just yet. All the professional jobs seem to want 3 years of experience, which I have, just not in any of their specified skillsets (you don't really learn SAP on IBL... do you?)

It all comes down to knowing, and why do I want to know so much? I was talking with another awesome friend about the calling of God, I never got around to telling her, but the real reason I care so much is proably because I don't wanna spend time fumbling around doing things I'm not meant to be doing. I hate wasting effort (read: Josh = lazy when unmotivated), I live to get my task finished... those tasks that God has prepared in advance for me to do. I wanna DO something worthwhile, you know? And the only way I'm gonna know that something is worthwhile is if God tells me to do it...

Which brings me back to knowing where to go. Bottom line is that at the moment, I don't. Don't know what to aim for, where to go... even for what to hope... and while I'm still staying sane by the tangible grace of God... everyday the spark of my joy gets that much dimmer, calling out for friends, service and direction. Soon I'll have to set my own course... without hearing from God... is that what he wants? Or is that just me wimping out...

Why is life as a Christian so hard?

ps. My Aussie friend's haven't deserted me, they're just really busy with all the things that I would be busy with too, if I was gonna stay here for a while.

Re-Entry

It's strange how subjective the desire to write can be, truly such an ethereal and whimsical impulse... it's no wonder that writer's block is both possible AND common... it's like the very stars must align before one can produce anything of substance or significance... and I can bear personal testimony to that.

... I wonder if I sound like that in real life...

Anyway, for those of you still following my journey, I'm back in Melbourne, undergoing the many thrills and joys of "re-entry" or "reverse culture shock", a thoroughly enjoyable and fun filled process (please read much sarcasm in that last statement). For the past 2 months now, I've been trekking blithely around Asia, living off the charity of others, and what small amounts of money I can scrape together (refer to previous post for further elaboration). However now the journey is at an end, and I am once again back to where I started. Melbourne, safe, quiet, sunny and ultimately boring (no offense intended).

So, now what?

That's a VERY good question, one for which I wish I had a God given answer (but unfortunately I don't). For the time being I'm applying for jobs, mostly IT related, in Melbourne, while trying to find some to apply for in HK and Malaysia. I'm also looking into getting a TESOL/TEFL certificate, so I could teach in HK if I find a position.

Meanwhile I'm trying to figure out, if I do indeed stay in Melbourne, which church to go to, and where I can serve... these are interesting times. At the same time, emotionally, it's not easy, as no matter where I move to, I'll be apart from close friends, and family... it sorta sucks being a "global gypsy" as my cousin likes to call it.

I will say honestly, that my friends in Hong Kong are generally more similar to me, especially in terms of stage in life (they're all around my age) and theology of God, in reality they are true spiritual siblings, my brothers and sisters, and I started to miss them even before getting on the plane.

My friends in Australia are way beyond cool, as are the many aunties and uncles who give me advice (and also read this blog) but most of them (my friends), the close ones at least, are A: older and B: moving to a different point in life (ie somewhere within the next 2 years, the marriage part). Which while cool, isn't quite where I'm at (despite several comical attempts on my part...). That, coupled with the fact that HK is way less boring and requires less capital investment to get going (I need to buy a car, or at least a bike if I stay in Melbourne) would see me leaning towards going back to HK.

However in all things, no matter what seems logical or what I want, God's will, His plan and path, His direction come first. While I'm not sitting on my hands doing nothing, I know that He will make my path straight, and be a lamp unto my path. Wherever He leads me, I will be grateful, and it will be for my good, according to his good, pleasing and perfect will.

So there you have it, where I'm at right this moment. Feel free to cast your votes, cause as you may know, I've easily swayed by public opinion!

Traveling...

So I've been in Malaysia since teh 7th of Jan... and for those few of you who still check this blog, or are interested in my life in general, it's been an amazing blast, having passed through Kuala Lumper to Penang, before a more extended stay in KL and 2 days in Cameron Highlands.

I'm now in Ipoh, at my grandma's house, awaiting the 5 minutes before Chinese New Year. Not that anything special will happen at the stroke of 12... lol, fireworks have been made even MORE illegal, if that were indeed possible. Along with not wearing your seatbelts too. Fine has gone up from 300 RM to 2000!

So my trip has been quite eventful so far. I've had my first full bottle of beer, peeled my first prawn, seen some of my cousins for the first time in almost 10 years, and ingested more grease in 2 weeks than in the last two years... even though I lived in HONG KONG....

Just so you know, I still hate beer and I'm still somewhat allergic to shellfish. However seeing my cousins, who are all 15 or over was and continues to be very awesome! Wish you could meet them all, I'm sure that eventually I'll get around to posting up pictures.

Oh and Malaysian food IS good, but you can literally feel the oil sliding down your throat... it's quite a balancing act.

Penang was good, met up with a couple of school friends, and subsequently met some cool people (hey that rhymes!) Sunset was nice too... oh and the Indian food! Mmmm.

KL the 2nd time around was pretty cool, especially around my birthday. Went out with a most awesome friend, who claims that I issue too many compliments. She took me to possibly the coolest bar that I've ever seen, with one of the most AMAZING views ever, the Skybar above Traders hotel. The view is truly spectacular.

Camerons was good, not much to do except hike, eat and gamble. The hiking proved to be.... hazardous to my continued existance... partly because I was helping my auntie get through the rather arduous trek, however despite my near brush with a falling palm tree, I had a blast! Of course the fact that I won almost 300 RM over the rest of the day might have had an impact on my mood over all.

Ipoh so far has been... well costly.... money wise, lost all of my profit from Camerons (but it's CNY tomorrow, so I get more RM, which I can't convert or use anywhere else ANYWAY...) but it's been good to hang out with my aunties, uncles and cousins, oh and cousin in-laws too! Though I must confess though that such constant proximity to my brother is ... humbling.

So, now, with my return to HK only a week away, visions of the future, specifically MY future, swim into focus and I begin to wonder anew what course my life will take. People are asking, and in all honesty, often I have no answer to give. Would appreciate your prayers, and your encouragements, or a hug would be sweet too! =D

Happy Chinese New Year!

A person's sphere

Sometimes when I'm chatting with friends (like right now) I wonder about the sphere of influence that I have. Not to say that I think I'm all amazing and stuff... but rather, the crazy places that God has taken me in life... the groups of friends, scattered across the world, whom I've had the privilege to meet.

At some level, a apart of me, the dreamer I suppose, feels that there is definitely a greater purpose to this... that perhaps God has chosen me for some part in the grand design, some key role that allows me to connect people from the corners of the earth... and not in a match making sense, although I hear there's a lot of money in Christian online dating.

I suppose at one level, I might seem like a really confident and forceful person, but anyone who really knows me, would know that I also battle with a LOT of inferiority complexes, possibly because, believe it or not, I have screwed up a lot in my life, especially in the last 5 years. Thus, I often don't realize the effect that I have on people, seriously, until they tell me, or it becomes really obvious. It often DOES surprise me when I hear stories of people who I've encouraged/helped, or groups of friends who were... almost bonded... by my presence... and it's a pattern that repeats in various places... I think that's what surprises me the most =D.

Obviously it feels good to hear those reports... but more than that... I wonder... well A: if I can build a business around it lol, but B: what it means for my destiny... perhaps I will have the opportunity to unite Christianity during the tribulation?? =D Or maybe build a network of churches that actually teach the hard to accept portions of scripture... or maybe even something as crazy as raising my own family in the ways of the Lord... heaven knows you need a lot of bonding there.

Who knows... perhaps God could very well send me to some other place in the world... I really have no idea... and perhaps I'll meet another group of super awesome Christians with whom I'll be able to journey for a short while.

One friend once told me that to him, I was an agent of change... an "impact" guy... I still have no idea what that means, or how it's going to give me a job... but I trust in God, and He's got my back, so what have I to fear?

I MISS HK!

Though in particular, this morning, I was craving a Cafe De Coral Baked Pork Chop on rice! So... using my rather random ingenuity, and the abundance of ingredients at my house... I present...

Josh's Baked Cheese on rice with some beef and other assorted things thrown in!



Don't be deceived by the nice orange coloring... the name is very indicative of the first major mistake that I made... tooooo much unmelted cheese...

But yes, it did remind me of CdC/MX... and of HK *sniff.

I'll work on the recipe more in the future.

Sydney

So, way back in September I conceived the idea that perhaps a trip to Sydney (another city in Australia) might be in order during my Nov/Dec stay in my home country... however it wasn't until November 23, 10 days before my intended departure date (and that changed too) when I actually bought my tickets.

So yes... it was definitely an interesting trip, from Wednesday the 3rd of Dec until today, Tuesday, the 9th, 7 days total. Anyway, since I haven't blogged in a while, I thought I'd give a good recounting of exactly what it was like!

I woke up at 7:50 AM on Wednesday morning... which, when you consider that I only managed to fall asleep at 4 AM, was quite early. Plus, I normally wake up at 12 noon when I'm on holidays (cause I like to write at night)... so yes I was quite grumpy that morning.

Anyway, so I got dropped off at the station, trained to the city, then took a Skybus to Tullamarine Airport, just over an hour on PT, much better than I expected, and caught my flight with plenty of time to spare (read: I should have slept more).

Subsequently, when I arrived at Sydney, I had a BLAZING headache. It was horrible... you know those ones where you feel like your eyeball is about to explode and you wanna vomit? Yeah... like that... LOW blood pressure... =D

Plus, I somehow managed to skip lunch cause Jetstar doesn't do meals and I thought I'd wait until I was at my friend's house.

So anyway, Sydney trains are relatively unique, at least compared to the other cities in which I've used PT... for one thing, the train cars are double decker, hopefully you can see it in the picture.



That's one flight to steps going to the upper deck, and one to the lower deck... weird huh?

So I got to the station, and met up with Seng Han Yeoh, one of my oldest and probably most forgiving friends! Heh. I've known Han since we were about 4 or 5. We met in Melbourne, and our parents are quite close, but due to our father's jobs, we've both been dragged all over the known world, and perhaps that's what keeps our friendship going... the shared chaos =D. Either way, he had graciously agreed to put me up for the week, and so we trekked over the 50 or so meters from the station to his house (me = envious).

The week went pretty quickly, after that day anyway (it was a LONG headache, though Han's Bible study group is very cool! Godly, biblical AND friendly!). I spent a lot of quality time with Han and Kim, his sister, who I've known for just as long. (and who managed to consistently beat me in Super Smash Bros. Brawl... when we were playing time, not stock.)

Thursday I hung out with Han during the day, went around the local area, then went to the City, checked out his church (pictured below). You can see the awesome stained glass in my facebook album. We also went to Hyde Park (which had some cool photos too)



Then that night I went to Vincent's 21st (which I had been invited too the night before...) got to catch up with the CNEC boys (minus Gabriel who's in Brunei) and Anny! That was cool! You'll have to get the pictures off Anny though... with her SLR out, I didn't bother taking any... DOH!

On Friday afternoon Han showed me around the Botanical Gardens, which was very cool, and I got some awesome pics of the harbor, and of Han scaring innocent birds... before having dinner with Han and Kim at a pub (I miss Aussie food!) Chicken Parma all the way!



Come Saturday I hung out with Bonnie during the day, exploring Darling Harbor and the Sydney Aquarium.



There are a lot of very weird and wonderful fish out there, including a crazy dragon like seahorse!



After that I had dinner with Lydia, Uncle Munkit and his family (unfortunately my camera ran out of battery, and so I need Lydia to send me her photos). My 2nd cousin, Ken, (I think it's 2nd Coz...) took us around to some of the noteworthy parts of Sydney at night, and we got an awesome shot of the Opera house and the bridge at night!

Sunday I spent churching, visited Elliot, Anny and Yun at their church during the morning, and Kim's church in the evening. Had a few of her friends over at our place for some games (console and board) and then on Monday we mainly chilled out (I was watching some eps of Battlestar Galactica, as recommended by Han). Oh, though we did go to Manly beach, and North head, where we got some AWESOME photos... (well I only got 1, cause my battery was still dead, Kim got the good ones) and a really short hike in the rain... that was fun! Dinner was funny too.



All in all the trip to Sydney, despite being really rushed, was awesome! It goes to show that with loving friends, and the grace of God, life can be fun, enjoyable and uplifting, no matter how much we might have stuffed it up. I'm beyond grateful to everyone who took out time to hang out with me, and especially the Yeoh siblings for putting up with me over the last week. I reckon Malaysia is going to be a blast! ;)

Until next time space fans! Tune in next month for Joshua, and the future of his world!

The Dragon's Island - Part 1

I never really thought of why I have that image within my mind of what Hong Kong is like. Perhaps it's Dragon's Back, my favorite hiking trail... or how ridges, of all sorts, wind their ways through the sprawling metropolis that is the gateway city... or maybe, just maybe, it's something deeper, spiritual, more sinister.

In my mind, I see a beautiful land, with colorful lights, glittering people (because of all the jewelery you see), luscious greenery, incredibly convenient public transport... yet also I see depression, materialism, greed, lust, shame, adultery, isolation, poverty, blindness, the very weapons of our enemy, trying to establish his control over this critical city of 7 million odd souls. When I look at that place with my spirit's eyes, I see pain, loneliness, fear, anger... the very person that I was, and in some ways still am, reflected in those shimmering neon signs and empty, broken eyes... I see myself... without Christ.

Yet I look, and behold, there are many lamp stands, scattered throughout the city, bowls of radiance that are even now being uncovered. There are hundreds of torches being lit, every day, kindled by the very Spirit of God. When I look at Hong Kong, I see hope, I see faith, I know there is family, there is life, indeed there is love, for our God, and for the people around us!

When I think of Hong Kong, I see a spiritual battle field, ground churned with the feet of a thousand warriors as they struggle across the broken landscape. Their aim, their goal, is to stand, to resist, to advance forcefully! Yet it feels like a losing battle, one that can never be won, that we know will last a very long time, that we despair of even surviving. Yes we know that the victory is won, yet how often do we slide back through the slick mud, earth wet with the blood of our brothers and sisters, failure and hopelessness in our hearts.

Truely Hong Kong is the Dragon's Island, and indeed all that we toil, that we know, that we do in this world is vapor, it will vanish, it will pass. All earth will fade away, and then, what will be our account? What will be our life's work? At that moment, when we stand before that Throne, what will we hear? What will I hear? Is that enough, truly, honestly enough, for me to run as I know I ought?

For me... I don't know... but I am hoping that you have an answer... for your own life...

Looking for: Editor

Just wondering does anyone know someone who's good with editing? Especially editing fantasy fiction? Or a publisher?? Please let me know!

Home... home on the range!!!

Where the wombats and kangeroos play! (Hey that works!) Where often is heard, a motherly word, and the skies are both sunny AND grey!

So yes I'm back home in Melbourne, and life should truly be quite CHILLED OUT! I mean seriously, 2 whole months stretch before me... far as the eye can see of sleeping late, waking up late, catching up with friends... such is the dream!

Actually in reality, I'm probably more tired than I was when I left HK... lol strange huh?

Lots of friends to catch up with, most of whom want to meet up over lunches, which means waking up before 11 or so... the only problem is that I've been sleeping at like 4am cause that's the best period of time for me to write... at night with absolutely no distractions... unlike day time, when there's birds, sunlight, people, phone calls, planning for the next few weeks... *sigh

Anyway my story, already at the 65k word mark, is on its home stretch, possibly going for 75-80k total. I tend to write long epilogues (or at least I might... never had to do one before, this will be the first EVER story that I've finished since my very first one! LOL)

I'm having a bit of a get together, to which all are invited, at my place on the 23rd of Nov, to talk about what I did in HK, what my plans are for the future etc... there is speculation that I'm going to announce my engagement... which is totally false... I don't know who has been spreading this rumor! (Although I do see the irony, that by posting it on my blog, the rumor itself is further propagated... sad isn't it?)

For the rest, I seriously miss my friends, youth and other people (does Dan count as a "friend"?) in HK, but I know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, those called according to His plans and purposes... and while I might think that I'd be happiest there, true joy comes from following God, loving Jesus, obeying HIS purpose and direction for my life... and so I willingly, if not always happily, submit to that. (And yes, I constantly have to remind myself of that =D). That said... I would be more than overjoyed if I get called back to HK =D.