The beginning of the end... of the beginning

You know, when I first came to HK, I didn't really know exactly what to expect, nor did I really expect exactly what would happen. However all that has happened here was truly far more than I had dared hope... and now I see, with just that little bit more clarity, how much I can trust in my God, who can and will provide for me, watch over me, and guide me in all that His perfect will has decided.

I'll save my massively long post for the last week or so, when I will summarize my trip and try to describe how I feel at that time etc. However for this moment, I'm giving you, the faithful readers of my blog (who mostly don't comment lol) the heads up first.

Over the past few weeks I've been asking God for direction about my life, and I believe that He's sending me back to Melbourne for the next two months before my month in Malaysia. I'll be heading back to Aus on the 3rd of Nov (arriving at 6am or 8 am on the 4th... sorry mum, I booked the ticket but forgot the exact time) and will stay in Aus (hopefully at some point going to Sydney) until the 8th of Jan, when I go to Malaysia for my cousin's wedding and Chinese New Year.

Of course the obvious question that everyone asks after that is "then what?" To which I invariably answer, "no idea." I believe that God will lead me from there, and I'm not in the least bit worried. While I wait on His will and plan, I'll probably look for a job. So yes, just letting you all know what's going down.

And no, I'm not in any way sick of HK, either the place or the people =D I'm just following the will of God.

Nine Oh...

Well, it's been 90 posts now... which is just 10 less that Portal to my World, the blog after my initial blog... I think Portal was definitely the blog filled with all the randomness, crpytoxicity and other fun goodness. Reading over one of my friend's posts definitely reminded me of all the good times... and some sad, that we had.

To be honest, looking back on my life, the friendships I've made, the people I've gotten to know... not even the massively life altering decisions... I can really say that I don't regret much. Even the glaringly obvious mistakes and sufferings have more than served to strengthen my perseverance, in turn building character and now giving me hope... Looking back at my life, though there were definitely parts that I hated living through (the first 4 months of HK spring to mind lol)... I realize that without each and every part... I wouldn't be the man, Christian or friend that I am today.

Anyway, as I continue to wait on God's plan and purpose for my life, please pray for me today (Wednesday) as I take some time out to seek His face.

A poem of expression (hopefully)

O, who can express the thoughts within
Catastrophic, like a raging wind
Emotions, feelings, desires unchecked
Thoughts, beliefs, white and black
Constant music, altering one's state
In all we do, this sound creates
Where to, what for, who with
Through these questions, my mind sifts
What person can truly understand
The soul and mind of fallen Man
Even their own hearts are sealed
Their thoughts barely to us revealed
For these and more, in God I must
Put without fail, all my trust
To lead and guide, to light the way
Until, He comes, in glorious display.

Artic Ice

So I suppose that, as a Chinese, this would be a good day to make a post. 8/8/08... no matter if you're American or Australian, it's still a very 8ty day... lol.

I was actually at CWB yesterday, waiting for my friend to finish work, and I was looking for deo... and I found a canister of my OLD deo from way back in grade 8. Which seem a bit random, even for me, but you know, using it, the smell brings back memories =P. It's apperently scientifically proven that scent is the strongest sense linked to memory... and while I think that hearing is pretty strong too... the odor (funny how DEodorant has it's own odor) reminds me of Dalat... of being young... of how much I hated life back then... and how far I've come... yet also how little I've changed.

I guess these periods of introspection are common when we're faced with big decisions or the end of something... and I really wonder what the next step is... although people have been randomly encouraging me about that impact that I'm making in lives... cool people, but people I haven't talked to in a while. So I know that God hasn't left me hanging on this one... it's just gonna take some patience...

I swear I haven't prayed for patience yet... humility yes... patience heck no!! Why is this happening to me!! *sigh ;)

... now it hits me

For the 1st week, almost half way through the 2nd, I was fairly good. I wasn't missing China, I wasn't lonely, I didn't have a massive craving to go back to Du An and ride a Tuk Tuk... I thought to myself 'hey! I've gotten better at this whole re-entry thing'.

*sigh

It's all Dan's fault! (I'm actually not joking, but I don't blame him lol). He made me compile a massive album, between his camera and mine. Looking over the photos, remembering the emotions and PEOPLE who are represented by these 2 dimensional squares of color... it's... heart wrenching to be separated I think.

Especially the AAREY/CNEC photos...those two really got me.

I miss the times we had, the fun games we played
I miss the songs we sang, the places that we stayed
I miss the hearts of people, actually changing the world
I miss the smiles of our students, every boy and every girl

I miss the colors, those yellow and blue shirts
I miss the tuk tuks, bikes covered in dirt
I miss the freedom, being always with friends
I miss the sharing, and the games at the end

I miss you all, those near, those far
I miss you all, wherever you are
I miss our time, the photos, the laughs
I miss it all, even the silly chants

Now I sit here, alone at my desk
Remembering it all, or trying my best
Wondering if, a taste we've had
Of heaven indeed, where hearts are glad

A poem of China 08 by Josh

(Best read aloud, slowly with cadence, pausing after each verse =)